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<a href="https://Gratz.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/841539">Ever growing burden</a>
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Back then it was hate that was choking Arus's spirit. I sense she's doing it again, only this time it's self doubt and overburdening herself "an Ever growing burden" with blame.
Also, if we are to take the quest literally as a journey for balance/harmony, she's isn't starting on that trail very well.
I'm exhausted again. Rational thought will occur to me later.
But she could also be starting on the trail on the right foot if the purging of negative emotions is happening already.